BEFORE YOU CONSIDER A DIVORCE!

By Pastor Lemi Jonathan (08037745245)

Divorce is a common word in the context of marriage today. Many couples find themselves contemplating it, actively pursuing it, or even using it as a threat against their spouse. Personally, I approach divorce with skepticism and would not readily advise it because, as Malachi 2:16 states, God hates divorce.

While people often cite various reasons for wanting a divorce, and the Bible does outline specific conditions, it’s crucial to remember that God is the creator, initiator, and ultimate umpire of marriage. He designed marriage as a lifelong covenant (Matthew 19:6). Think of God as the impartial referee in a game: He sees everything and judges every action, determining whether an infringement warrants a penalty or not. A player might believe they were fouled and deserve a penalty, but the referee, with a full view, might see it differently—even penalizing the player for faking a foul.

Many individuals appeal to Matthew 5:32 or Matthew 19:9, citing sexual immorality as grounds for divorce. However, God, the impartial judge, knows if you intentionally pushed your spouse into immorality or orchestrated the situation. Society might approve of your divorce, but will God? You could be “penalized” by God for such deception.

Similarly, some seek divorce due to domestic abuse. While society rightly encourages individuals not to tolerate physical abuse, God judges every role in such situations. Some individuals may verbally instigate abuse, waiting for a physical reaction, or provoke their spouses to violence to gather “evidence” for divorce. God sees the full truth.

Others might invoke the “Pauline Privilege” of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:12-15) to justify divorce. Yet, God knows the real story. Many choose to disregard counsel against marrying an unbeliever, entering into relationships against divine guidance. When these choices lead to conflict, they then attempt to use this scripture to justify divorce, claiming abandonment. God is watching.

Whatever your reason for considering divorce, remember that only God can truly validate its authenticity.

Apostle Paul’s counsel in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 advises against separation or divorce. If you do separate for valid reasons, you should remain unmarried or seek reconciliation with your spouse. Rushing into a new marriage could mean living in adultery.

While I don’t encourage remaining in an abusive marriage, it’s vital that before pursuing divorce, you honestly examine your own role in the marital breakdown.

Marriage is God’s ordinance, an eternal covenant. Many rush into it unprepared, without seeking counsel or divine guidance. When the consequences of their choices manifest, they still attempt to break God’s law and justify their actions.

Before you consider getting a divorce, remember that your children would suffer more from it than you may know. The challenge of raising your children after divorce will greatly affect the children. A dysfunctional home does no good to the children, and it will create a negative pattern for them. Divorce is like running away from a battle you ought to fight and win and handing it over to your children who could be defeated by it.

Before you consider a divorce, consider how it will negatively affect your children.